After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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