hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
