just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
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Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
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Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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