i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
