so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
