wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
