we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
