i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
