you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize