just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
