no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
