I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize