if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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