so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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