Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
