It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We need to get me chipped asap
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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