i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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