I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
