so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
