if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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