great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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