Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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