i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
