My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
