she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
being pregnant is like rehab
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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