Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
