i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
