that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
