That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
