Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize