I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
