That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
