Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
where are my eyebrows?
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