im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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