I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
