The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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