why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
