all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
