Im at strip club and am horny
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize
