His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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