My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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