He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
