GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
