It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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