is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
