what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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