I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
