Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
