Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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