PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
