And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
