My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
