i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
