Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He has the fingertips of a God
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