I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
