and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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