Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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