He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
