You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize