eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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