He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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