Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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