Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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