I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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