you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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