Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Is that strawberry winking at me??
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
